December 1 - Knucklin Down
It’s almost finals week, and I’ve got a lot to do. There’s always an assignment to do, a paper to type, a website to finish. It’s especially difficult when half the time is spent working on the floor. They should really invent a specialty desk for people with upper bodies for lower bodies. It’s very difficult finding any sort of furniture for our type of body structure. Most people are big boned, thick, skinny, anything really, but what am I? Well, sometimes I just need some downtime, even though that ends up being uptime for one of us (if we lay down and relax, one of us usually gets smothered). |
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 October 18 - Sometimes, Life can be hard
I ate at Chartwells the other day. Today, I have a severe case of Outteuends (Comes out two ends). The culprit: a half-baked potato and some recookedrefriedandreserved beans. I’m a mess, what bummer. I don’t know if my single-organ-digestion-tract-for-one-body can take this kind of abuse. Just like the abuse I get every day from that rotten Vanderhoffe (He’s definitely currently asleep). Vanderhoffe is always harassing me, calling me things like “torso boy,” and “attached half.” It’s degrading! I really wish I could get a detachment from him, but I know that that will never be possible. Hopefully someone will heed my call. This is Otis, and I’m signing out. |
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January 12 - Some Downtime
I took a nap today. It’s not often that we sleep at the same time, we have the same body clock, it’s just that we tend to have different schedules. Somehow a picture was taken, peculiar. But, I guess that’s what happens when you have a roommate that you’re really close to. Weird things start to appear and happen every once in a while. Like this one time, I was making breakfast, and suddenly I realized there was a waffle maker on the counter, a WAFFLE MAKER! I never saw or bought a waffle maker. |
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December 25 - Christmas
This Christmas I had a really good idea: I was going to go out and play Christmas carols with my band…my one man band. We were planning on going out to street corners and playing for families! Unfortunately, when we went to the first house, we were nearly arrested after the woman at the door passed out, hit her head, and started bleeding. We panicked, called 911, and were forced to play our carols to ourselves. |
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September 12 - The Beginning
So it’s time to spread the word. Today, the word is asparagus. We’ve decided to post our thoughts in order to spread the word about this terrible disability, as well as to jot down the thoughts of me and my…colleague. We feel that it is important for people to realize the truth about people with two upper bodies. We hope to really paint a portrait of our dilapidated life…lives. See, we’re not that used to adjusting to this double life we’re living. It’s not like I’m cheating on anyone, or pretending to be someone I’m not either, but having an upper body attached to your hips, well, it messes with you.
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