Occasionally somebody will ask me why I haven't bought XYZ. My answer is usually along the lines of "I don't have enough money in my account." Superficially, this is true, but in reality, is an equivocation; I don't have enough money in my checking account. I have loads and loads piled away in savings. When pressed by those in better knowledge of my financial standing to transfer green around, I tell them that it's annoying, painful, and time consuming. This is a complete lie: I can transfer monies online 24/7/365 in about 3 minutes. The reason I act this way is not to seem poor, destitute, or a wastrel to serve some self-conjured aura, but to keep myself from becoming one of those things. My point in lying is to fool myself, not the world, thus keeping my small universe from disassociating: I can't spend what I don't have.
Amazing, what comfort we gleen from lies, isn't it?
11/10/02