The Watchers

By Karl Haase

I saw you stroll by. I saw you reading the book. I saw your new car. I saw you two holding hands. I saw you laugh. I saw you smile. I saw you looking at me. The only thing I saw was your gun in my face. I saw you hit him. I saw you get promoted. I saw you ignore me. I saw you pay him, to bad no one else did. I saw what you said to your mother. I don't see anything. I saw you die. I see you everywhere you go.

I sleep in the train tunnel. I am friend of no one. I damned God. I sit in the corner. I'm that guy behind you in the street. I'm the quite waitress at the café. I want my old parents back. I get paid by the people who pass me in the park. Men pay to see me dance, because that's all they said I could do. Me and my homies didn't pass 3rd grade. I go home every night so my dad can beat me. I don't know what to say. I'm usually too high to care about anything. My parents died and I live in a group home. Even the sun hates me. I cry to myself when no one is looking. I drive my truck around all day, pretending I have a job. I'm immortal. God, I'm hungry. My stories never sold. All I want is to live. I'm not a part of the world. I wish I had never been born.

You were there in the street. You were sitting on the bench. He came up behind you with the knife. Your shades were closed, but it all happened anyway. You were in the paper. I read the book after you threw it away. I felt for you pulse after it happened. That coffee wasn't so bad. You were on the phone. It was your best friend. You put the pills in your mouth and wash them down with a beer. You blew my face clean off. You said it was okay, because no one saw anything.

What brought you 2 together? Why does the boss like everyone but me? Why won't someone see? How do you be important? What did I ever do to you? Why doesn't the world just stop for a day so I can sleep? Why am I so ugly? What went wrong? Where's love? When were the old times ever good? Who said I got him? Why can't their eyes stay in the head? Where did the time go? Where did I go wrong?

So, Think of me when you sit in your favorite spot. Feel me when you eat that bagel. Ignore me as you brush past. Remember me every time you clean that gun. When you see him, put a word in for me. Next time, close the window. Talk with your parents like you mean it. Understand it when I puke all over the sidewalk. You shouldn't mind the sword, I don't know how to use it anyway. When I run rampant, don't stand in my way. Admire me during the show tonight. Call the number on the door of the cab. Forget my father. I would like an extra tip tonight. Smile when I try to sell you a yellow button. Pray that God won't mind me. Ask before you take my money. When you kiss, make sure I'm not there.

Thanks.