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If I Was the Marrying Kind
Soloist volunteer for each verse during the
previous by raising their beer (fist) to their forehead and are
then chosen by the consensus pointing their elbows at the volunteer.
Everyone sings words in capital letters.
Chorus:
IF I WAS THE MARRYING KIND, WHICH THANK THE LORD I’M NOT SIR, THE
KIND OF RUGGER I WOULD BE, WOULD BE A RUGBY…
Prop sir.
WHY IS THAT SIR?
'Cause I'd support a hooker,
AND YOU'D SUPPORT A HOOKER,
WE'D ALL SUPPORT A HOOKER TOGETHER.
WE'D BE ALRIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
SUPPORTING HOOKERS TOGETHER.
Repeat Chorus after each verse.
(For the next verses change "prop" with the first word(s)
and "support a hooker" with the second set of words after
the comma).
Hooker, hook balls
Second Row, grab crotch or Second Row #2, smell fish
Eight Man, split cheeks or Eight Man #2, sniff ass
Flanker, get off first
Scrum-half, put it in or Scrum-half #2, whip it out
Fly-half, get creamed
Center, find the hole
Wing, never get it
Fullback, get fucked
Pitch, grow weed
Goal posts, stand erect or Goal posts #2, get split
Rugby Law Book, get violated
Referee's whistle, get blown
Rugby Ball, be bound in leather
Rugby Boot, come in a box
Cleat, get screwed
Jersey, come in colors
Fan from 1,000 miles away, come for hours
Fan on a rainy day, come in rubbers or Fan on a rainy day #2, get
wet
Fan on a sunny day, come again or Fan on a sunny day #2, get baked
Grounds keeper, do lines or Grounds keeper #2, trim bush
Half-time orange, get sucked
Dog on the pitch, get yanked off
Drunk Team, get fucked up
(Insert Other Team's Name), never come
Black Ice Fans, always come
SOCIAL (Have a group cheer with your beer glasses and on to the
next song)
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