I Used to Work in Chicago

The tune is similar to "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow". Soloists volunteer for each verse during the previous by raising their beer (fist) to their forehead and are then chosen by the consensus pointing their elbows at the volunteer. Everyone sings words in capital letters.

Chorus:

I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO, AN OLD DEPARTMENT STORE. I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO, I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE…
A woman came in for a hammer.
A HAMMER FROM THE STORE?
A hammer she wanted, nailed she got.
AND I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE!
OH!

Repeat Chorus after each verse.
(For the next verses change "A woman came in for a hammer" with the first set of words and "a hammer she wanted, nailed she got" with the second set of words after the semi colon. Note: in some cases "a woman" can be interchanged with "a man" and vise versa).

A man came in for some nails; nails he wanted, screwed he got

A woman came in for a screen door; a screen door she wanted, back door she got

A man came in for some bread; bread he wanted, my yeast he got

A woman came in for a Kit Kat; a Kit Kat she wanted, four fingers she got

A man came in for a lobster, a lobster he wanted, my crabs he got

A woman came in for some jewelry; jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got

A man came in for a job; a job he wanted, a blowjob he got

A woman come in for a linguist; a linguist she wanted, cunnilingus she got

A man came in for some carpet; carpet he wanted, a shag he got

A woman came in for some paper; paper she wanted, a ream she got

A man came in for some tile; tile he wanted, laid he got

A woman came in for a ruler; ruler she wanted, 12 inches she got

A man came in for a camel; a camel he wanted, humped he got

A woman came in for some stamps; stamps she wanted, licked she got

A man came in for some velvet; velvet he wanted, felt he got

A woman came in for a fuck; a fuck he wanted, and fucked he got…and now I own the store!

SOCIAL