Political correctness allows for two basic
types of complaint: that people who behave the same are treated
differently, and that people who behave differently are treated
the same. -- The Flummery Digest
Quoting from Genesis, "They were nude but they were not ashamed."
Furthermore, because God created it, "The human body can remain nude and uncovered
and preserve its splendor and its beauty." -- Pope John Paul II
Politicians are like diapers;
they need changed often and for the same reason.
Would vegetarians eat carrots if they had faces?
Do vegetarians hate plants?
If we were meant to be nude, we would have been born that way.
Anyone who says he can see through a woman is
missing a lot. -- Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights?
I like either side of them. -- Groucho Marx
Women would rather have beauty than brains,
because the average man can see better than he can think.
God made woman beautiful and foolish;
beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.
A successful marriage requires falling in
love many times, always with the same person. -- Mignon McLaughlin
It always puzzles me to hear of professional women —
are there any amateurs?
My wife says I never listen to her.
At least I think that's what she says.
They had a trial separation, but she found him anyway.
Marriage is grand but divorce is at least 100 grand.
I think that God, in creating man,
somewhat overestimated his ability. -- Oscar Wilde
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather
because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle
gangs. -- Dave Barry
A Jewish mother's view of abortion is that you
are not a human being until you finish graduate school.
Until then, she can do anything she wants with you.
Some women are like pianos; when they're not upright,
they're grand. -- Benny Hill
It's twelve inches long, but he doesn't use it as a rule.
Men aren't attracted by my mind;
they're attracted by what I don't mind. -- May West
A country without bordellos is like a house
without bathrooms. -- Marlene Dietrich
When she was good she was very, very good,
but when she was bad, she was even better.
Science has proof without any certainty while
Creationists have certainty without any proof. -- Ashley Montague
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Congressmen don't need book marks;
they like their pages bent over.
The big difference between sex for money
and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
-- Brendan Francis
Why is it that when a man talks dirty
to a woman it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks
dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?
Do you think sex is dirty? It is if you do it
right. -- Woody Allen
Doggy style: he sits up and begs while
she rolls over and plays dead.
Nudists wear one-button suits.
Vegetarians don't eat anything that blinks unless
it's willing.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Never argue with a woman when she's tired
— or rested.
People who take issue with control of population
do not understand that if it is not done in a graceful way,
nature will do it in a brutal fashion. -- H. Kendall
Diversity at the expense of quality is no virtue,
but quality without diversity is nonetheless a vice. -- Ruth Marcus
On their wedding day, what does a Polish man give to his
wife that's long and hard? His family name.
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